Why are there stinkbugs?

Why are there stinkbugs? I don’t remember these insects invading my house five years ago. I’ve heard of invading species. This definitely is one. All winter I found them crawling around my home. “Don’t squish them! They stink,” my wife warned. So I’d gather them up and put them outside. I decided to do an experiment and see if once released outside they would return so I thought I would paint fluorescent numbers on their backs. My wife thought this would be a cruel scientific experiment. So I decided I’d do it anyway and just not “publish” (tell her) the results. My wife doesn’t approve of my scientific experiments. However, I was in for some surprises. This is what I learned. Stinkbugs are stupid. Most insects have some awareness that I’m pursuing them and they will try to flee. Stinkbugs just keep walking in the same direction unless you actually touch them with a fluorescent dipped paint brush. So to capture them I’d put a piece of paper in front of them and they’d walk right on to it. It took a while, they move slowly. Which is odd because they also fly. Which I didn’t realize until I tried numbering them with that fluorescent paint which made my experiment super challenging. As in impossible. So I just observed them and forgot about the paint as they seemed to get into my house so easily there wasn’t much point to my experiment. I’m sure 100% of the put outside SB’s came back inside. Right away actually. If irritated, a stinkbug will set off like a launched missile, streaking away with an angry buzzing sound like a German V 2 rocket, they called that the buzz bomb cause the motor made a buzzing sound. But the stinkbug looks uncomfortable as soon as it takes off. “Whooee I’m flying! I didn’t know I could do this. My goodness I’m going fast. It’s hard to change directions. What if I run into something? I’m going to run into something, I just know it I’m not lucky. OK I’m walking again! Whew!” The stinkbug walks slowly. It reminds me of a Tri-Met bus. I am always seeing the back of busses and then passing them, meaning they drive slow and I drive normal. And don’t you hate it on a four lane road if you’re the one that gets caught behind the bus and everyone is passing on the left and they won’t let you in so you have to stay behind the bus? Wait, this was about stinkbugs. Now that it is spring, all the stinkbugs that camped out in my house all winter are going outside. They seem to know the sliding glass door is the exit because they gather there in the morning and wait for me to open the door. I’ve found if I slip my foot behind them they will fly out instead of making me stand by the door for half an hour as they laboriously climb over the giant frame of the sliding glass door. “Me fly over an obstacle instantly when I can take my time? That flying stuff is for the birds.” And for that matter where are the birds? Why aren’t they eating these bugs? Probably because they stink. Maybe we need to import the Chinese Stinkbug Eater Bird. Of course these would probably prefer eating our bees and have no natural enemies so facing starvation and the loss of apples, we’d have to import the Chinese Stinkbug Eater Bird Eater Cat. Which would probably start eating our cats. Invasive species are like ivy. It’s a good thing ivy isn’t invasive. There’s so much of it! Speaking of which, all the stinkbugs that didn’t make the winter decided to end their lives in mass graves of their own choosing, meaning they died in all my opaque light fixtures. It’s sort of depressing to look up when you turn on the light and see 20 or 30 stinkbugs lying dead and mummified at the bottom of the light fixture bowl. I’m tempted to clean them out but I’m curious as to how many I could collect over a period of several years. My wife doesn’t condone my scientific experiments.